As this work requires vulnerability and commitment, I share my story to offer a space where you can feel seen, safe, and inspired to begin your own journey.
From Survival Strategies
to Self-Led Authority
Ashley noor, certified jungian coach + Shadow work guide
I spent most of my life in survival mode. Raised in a dysfunctional home below the poverty line, by the age of five I was managing my mother’s mental illness (BPD) and addiction, navigating my father’s unpredictable behavior and rigid religious beliefs, and caring for my younger siblings.
In that chaos, I learned to equate love with self-sacrifice, worth with over-functioning, and safety with being agreeable.
No matter where I went—whether with friends, extended family, at school, in relationships, or at work—I carried the belief that I didn’t belong and had no value because of my circumstances.
As an adaptive strategy, I constructed a “persona” that presented a polished exterior. I became the over-functioning overachiever—“nice,” accommodating, and endlessly managing the needs and emotions of others with hyper-vigilant precision.
I learned to contort myself into whatever role was required to keep the peace and secure a place for myself, even celebrating my ability to be a chameleon.
That persona helped me survive, and it rapidly fueled my success, but beneath it lived a distorted self-concept and a physical and emotional exhaustion beyond words.
As the dysfunction of my origins followed me into adulthood, each time life knocked me down, I earned another “gold star” for my strength.
Survival, chaos, and dysregulation became my baseline—and sadly, the very place I believed my value lived. It was where I knew how to thrive.
The world applauded me for my self-abandonment and over-functioning, and I wore my burnout like a badge of honor.
What beliefs about who you think you need to be are working against you?
The Persona in the Making
HOW I NEEDED THE WORLD TO PERCEIVE ME
The easygoing one who accommodated everyone
The hyper-independent one with no needs of her own
The strong, resilient one who “made it out”
The overachiever who never failed and could handle anything
The one who silenced truth to protect others
The perfectionist producing at unsustainable levels
The reliable problem-solver
The fun-loving host who made others feel special
The likable “nice girl” who kept everyone comfortable
WHAT CARRYING THAT PERSONA ACTUALLY MEANT
I was drowning—over-caretaking for my family, struggling to survive financially on my own, choosing partners who needed fixing, and taking on work far beyond my scope.
I had very few to rely on—surrounding myself with people and places that reinforced my origins, without knowing how to ask for help.
My baseline was exhaustion, resentment, and survival—carried quietly behind a smile, fueled by guilt and the need to keep up appearances.
I was burnt-out, excessively numbing, and had no space in my life for me, my physical health or my mental-wellbeing.
Growing up in a controlling environment shaped me into a masterful people-pleaser—saying yes when I longed to say no, molding myself to keep others comfortable at the cost of betraying myself.
I poured myself into achievements and relationships, unknowingly recreating the very same dynamics I was fighting to escape from childhood...
No matter how much I worked, fixed, loved, or pleased, life kept mirroring the same story back to me—not because it was true, but because my unconscious survival strategies and patterns kept drawing me into the same dynamics, again and again.
life wasn't happening to me, I WAS THE CONDUCTOR OF MY OWN CHAOS
if willing to let go, SOMETHING new EMERGES
Transcending Pain to Purpose
After a lifetime in survival mode, I realized I was the one choosing to stay there. Burnt out and disconnected, I hit a breaking point that sparked a deep journey inward—unraveling the unconscious beliefs and survival strategies running my life.
Just as I began to make progress, tragedy struck again. My younger sister passed away unexpectedly, and grief shattered everything I thought I knew.
In that devastation, something deeper awakened. The illusion of control fell away, and for the first time I stopped abandoning myself.
From that pain came purpose. From the reckoning, a rebirth.
I created Marwa as a space for women to break free from the roles, patterns, and conditioning they never chose.
A space rooted in this truth: you are not broken, only conditioned—and you have the power to rewrite your story and build a life from self-worth and self-led authority, not survival.
"who looks outside dreams, who looks inside awakens" ~ c.g. Jung
In Loving Memory of MARWA
The name Marwa is in honor of my younger sister, Erica Marwa Marie, who tragically passed away at 34 years old. Her life was marked by unimaginable hardships, yet even as she carried a profound heaviness within, she radiated a light that uplifted others.
I didn’t know it then, but I now understand that my sister and I were reflections of each other’s Shadow. We adapted to our chaotic childhood in opposite ways—unconsciously creating personas that helped us survive, while mirroring back the disowned shadow parts of ourselves in one another.
I shaped myself into someone composed, controlled, people-pleasing, and overly responsible. She became chaotic, carefree, rebellious, and unafraid to speak her mind. I tried to hold it all together; she let it all spill out.
Her expression to the world was colored in the very qualities I worked so hard to contain, just as mine embodied the ones she could not hold.
Together, we danced in the duality that lives within us all—the inner conflict - the unseen war of opposites between what we allow ourselves to express to the world to be accepted, and what we bury deep inside.
In losing, I came face-to-face with the very parts of myself I spent a lifetime trying to escape. And in the depths of my grief, I found the courage to slowly, intentionally bring those parts into the light—a journey towards individuation. A rebirth of her spirit, woven into my own shadow integration.
The freedom we seek—the full expression of our light—lies hidden within the layers of our story and in the parts of ourselves we unknowingly repress.
It is my deepest hope that through this work, I can honor my sister and the life we endured—not only by carrying her light forward, but by helping others uncover their own.
Ashley Noor
MY JOURNEY HERE
From my early days as a Vice President in hospitality marketing to empowering women in business and life today, each moment represents the passion and dedication I bring to helping others succeed.
BS in Marketing; put myself through school, first to graduate in family
Chased luxury & built successful career as a marketing executive in NYC
Was a mentor and leader in my career and family, but internally burnt-out
Listened to the internal voice and went on a mission to find my purpose
First plant medicine retreat in Costa Rica cracked open the unconscious
The path led me to begin the study of Jungian Psychology
Marwa - a rebirth from the depths of my grief - created as a space to support and empower women through the many layers of their life journey, beyond their origin story and conditioning.
